Sleeping on the Streets...

The little boy sitting next to me in the photo below, is Gustavo. He is 9 years old, and lives on the street.

It was 9:30 pm, and Isanon was giving everybody the sign to "disengage". We had been at Andrades - spending time with the street kids, for about 3 hours and it was time for us to catch our hour long bus ride home. As I saw Isanon going around telling everyone to start saying goodbye, I looked down in my lap - where 9 year old Gustavo was fast asleep. He looked so calm and peaceful, I didn't know how to disrupt that.

We had an amazing time with the kids tonight. We started out with a time of worship with them, followed by Isanon sharing some of his testimony about how God turned his life around. After, we had a time of prayer with the kids - and I saw God really begin to move and touch a few of the hearts of the kids. There were children laying on the ground crying as we prayed for them. Then we had a time where we were just able to interact with them - get to know them.

It was during this time, when Gustavo came up to me saying, "Tia Janel, estou com sono - eu quero deitar!" (Auntie Janel, I'm sleepy - I want to lay down). He tucked his bottle of paint thinner in his shorts and curled up in my lap. I let him cuddle against me, as I began to quietly sing English worship songs.

As I was singing, I began to think about the first time I met Gustavo. It was probably in early December of 2009, he was 7 years old, almost 8 - and it was only about his 3rd or 4th night living on the streets. He wasn't sniffing paint thinner yet, he was just a scared little boy. I remember myself and another guy on our team trying to talk to him, but he wouldn't say anything to us...he just hid his face from us. I remember the confusion and anger that I felt that night, as I lay in bed thinking about what could have possibly driven this sweet boy to the streets.

And last night, as Isanon picked Gustavo off my lap - laid him on the cold, dirty, hard sidewalk - and we walked away...the tears began to flow again. I cannot describe to you the emotions that ran through me, as I walked away from this young child. It was time for our team to leave the streets, to go take showers and climb into our warm beds...but that wasn't the reality for 9 year old Gustavo, or any of the other children there - they don't visit the streets, they live there.

Waking up in Brasil

Breakfast in Brasil consists of a piece of bread with some butter smeared on it, and a cup of coffee. Amazing coffee. I would not consider myself a "coffee drinker"...usually. I pass on the coffee at Starbucks and head straight for those sugary fraps, and would definitely prefer a cup of apple juice rather than coffee, in the mornings. But, that all changes when I arrive in Brasil. I get to Brasil and feel like one of those old lady's who sit on their front porch with their robes and slippers, sipping their coffee and nosily watching their neighborhood wake up.

About two weeks ago, the girls moved into our new house! Yay! Its so cute and peaceful and wonderful. :) I will take pictures soon... Anyways, we live upstairs and have a large back balcony-porch thingy and a smaller one in the front. In the mornings, I like to get up, grab my breakfast (and coffee), sit on the front porch and spend time with God. Two or three mornings ago, I was sitting out there and noticed a man riding towards the house on a bike. He was whistling loudly and I just kind of watched him as he was approaching. As he rode past the house, he smiled, waved and said "Bom Dia", which means Good Morning. I returned the greeting and watched him ride down the street.

This is my third time in Brasil, and there are still (many) moments where I can not believe that I am here. This overwhelming sense of awe- that I don't see to be able to put into words- washes over me and I am left in complete amazement of how lovely my God turly is. If you were to look at my background, my short comings, or even my financial status...you would agree with me that it is only by the grace of God that I am here.

I think about Peter often, and how crazy scary it must have been to respond to Jesus' calling to walk on water. How much faith it must've taken for him to step out of the boat, out of his place of comfort and security. I don't want to be afraid of my calling- I want to have the faith necessary to take each and every step. Whether its the courage to open my mouth and love on a stranger, the wisdom to know how to lead, or the faith that God will provide for my every need - I do not doubt that I am exactly where God wants me to be. And its such an amazing feeling.

Back in Brazil...

I am so excited to share with you the news of my return to Brazil. At this very moment, I am sitting in the Dallas airport awaiting flight number two of three to Brazil. This will be my third missions trip to Brazil, and I am determined to keep those that I love more updated this time. The things that God has allowed me to experience in this life are overwhelming, and all I can say is that I am truly blessed.

I've been questioned many times, “Why Brazil?”, so I thought I would take this opportunity to try to answer that. I believe that God has had a calling on my life to work in the mission field since I was very young, I just never realized it. You know those commercials of young children who are starving in other countries? We have all seen them..and I remember being a young age and questioning why that was fair. Why God would let little children die of hunger. I believe that it was during those times of frustration with God, and not understanding – that God began to give me a heart for those children. My first year of Masters Commission, I prayed something that changed my life. I asked God to break my heart for the things that breaks His. At the time, I didn't know how much that simple prayer would change my life. It was only days later that I got my calling to Brazil. There was no big sign in the sky saying, “Janel, I want you to live in Brazil.” But, there was a stirring in my heart. A brokeness for the people of Brazil. For the children of Brazil.

So, as I sit here in the Dallas airport, with two more hours of my 22 hour layover left to go...I find myself thinking about what my expectations for Brazil are. The last time I went, I had very little expectations, I had no idea what to expect, but that is not the case this time. I know what I am getting myself into, and I know that there is a purpose behind it. As I journey back into Brazil, I have Huge Expectations. Huge! Not because of my abilities, but because of what I have seen and know that God can do. There is a verse in the fourth chapter of Acts that I like to cling onto as my hope. It is verse 13 and it says, “When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.” I am completely unqualified, unschooled and unworthy by myself...but through those intimate times with Jesus, He can use me.

It is my hope and desire that as God reveals Himself to me through the ministries in Brazil, that you would be encouraged, stirred, and as in awe with our Daddy as I am.

Would you take a moment to prayerfully consider partnering with me? I could not imagine going into - Brazil without the support of others who are running in this race with me. Whether it be through your prayers and encouragement, or a financial gift – I am positive that God will Honor your investment. Below are two specific ways you can be a part of what is happening in Brazil...

By continually lifting myself, the rest of the team, and the people we encounter up in prayer. It is through prayer and prayer alone that we have any impact in Brazil. More than anything else, we need your continued prayer and encouragement. If you would like me to send you specific prayer needs and updates of what amazing things God is doing here in Brazil, contact me with your email information and I will send out updates as often as possible.

Another way, is to partner with me financially. The calling that God has placed upon me to move to Brazil, comes with a very significant financial need. Whether you are able to support monthly, or give a one time donation – you are helping to fill this need. If you are able, and would like to support me in this way, please contact me and we can work out the best way for you to do this.

In closing, I would like to thank each one of you for taking the time to read this. I truly appreciate and thank you for the investment that you have made in my life. It is thinking upon everthing that I have been blessed with and all the ways that God has used people like yourselves to bless my life, that I get my strength each day. I have no other way to describe it, other than to say that I truly have been blessed.

Whats worth the prize, is always worth the fight.

Have you ever been on a rollercoaster ride, that you couldn't wait to get off of? I just went to Magic Mountain with my best friend Vickie, for her birthday. We had an amazing day, but there was a span of time, where we both weren't feeling good. I was hot, and extremely thirsty, and my stomache felt like it was doing flips. It was not a good feeling. We got on the batman ride, and immediately I felt sick...I didn't know if I was going to make it through that ride. I tried closing my eyes, but that made me even more nauseous. FINALLY, the ride skidded (more like slammed) to a stop. I made it, or so I thought. We sat in this black room for what seemed like forever before they finally let us off.

For the past two years, I have felt like I have been on a rollercoaster ride. So many ups and downs, and twists and turns, and loops. I have not posted much from my journal at all, but if you just took one little peek inside, you would be amazed at the rollercoaster my emotions have been on. One day, I am frustrated, the next completely encouraged. Its a mess.
Reading back through it, I am reminded of just how faithful my Lord is to me. He has never given me more than I could handle, even if it seemed like it at the time. I have been stretched to the point where I knew I was going to snap at any second, but I never did. My God, is amazing. No other way to put it.
I am elated to tell you, that once again, my best friend, has come through on my behalf. I am heading to Brazil. I will be leaving October 14th. It has been one crazy journey to this point, but I know that it will be worth it.

From the Journal of Janel..

Dear God,

I'm gonna write this like you don't already know. And thoughts that don't line up neatly might make a little more sense on this screen.

I know we don't talk much these days. You're mostly ignored, saved for some unguarded moments right before sleep. I've been busy dodging your calls and looking for hurdles to put in your path. But thoughts of you still slip in quietly, like when traffic surprisingly opens or gets out of my way. And you came back to mind in the middle of a movie today.

I don't have big reasons like war or the poor to stubbornly push you away. I didn't lose someone close to me, or blame you for any wrong doings in my life. If we all sat and counted our hardships mine wouldn't stack up that tall. And that says more than a little about how easy I find it to fall. I've just got me and my everyday problems, and they don't even hold up that well. So I don't understand why I don't boomerang back to your side. Even when my head's alright with the thought, my heart is just shrugging and not really up for the ride.

Most of the folks that I love in this world have you in common. And if not for your church then we'd never have met. So when they ask how I'm doing it feels like I'm betraying some confidence. I used to sing songs with my hands held up high, but these days it's like scheduling time for the dentist. For the life of me I can't find one good reason to have lost trust in you. But that's how it is, and I was hoping we could do something about that.

I miss the looking forward to you. With all these feelings of falling and changing, I miss the gravity of you.

Janel

What is Master's Commission?

Master's Commission is a training program created for young adults to provide a stimulating learning environment for developing personal disciplines, moral character and leadership qualities. Our training program is divided into three primary modules giving interns valuable real-time learning experiences.

Personal Development - Learning the basics of personal disciplines and practical life skills reflecting high moral character and ethical values. Interns have purposed to invest up to two years of their lives for hands-on leadership training where they realize the lasting values and benefits of hard work, integrity and self discipline.

Service to the Community - Practical services within the local community, including public schools, churches, social service agencies, shelters for the homeless, after-school programs, safe-houses for former street children, and orphanages.

Global Compassion - Compassion and service with a global focus. Through collaborative partnerships with local social projects and churches, our interns learn what goes on behind the scenes. Through on-site experiences, our interns develop a global perspective on relieving world needs.

Waiting

What is ever the point of waiting? What good does waiting ever do? Growing up in a day and age where waiting for anything is simply not acceptable, has handicapped me. Heaven forbid, that you have to wait for longer than 2 minutes in the mcdonalds drive thru. If you want something, go get it. Isn't that what society has taught us? If you have to wait, take your service somewhere else. I remember too fondly, getting up and walking out of a restaurant with my friends family, when the food took too long to get to us. Embarrassed, I promised myself that I would have more patience in life.
Well, here is God testing that patience. How much patience do I truly have? Waiting for your visa is not an easy thing. It gets frustrating, having to tell people day after day, that you still do not know when your visa will come.
It is in these times, that I have to cry out to my Father. When I have to lean on Him for strength. I know, that this is a time of preparing me for what lies ahead. Im in a blindspot, walking through the wilderness. But, just as God allowed the devil to tempt Jesus when He was in the wilderness, so He is allowing him to tempt me. But, just as Jesus did not give into temptation, neither will I.